Well hey there, neighbor! Thanks for stopping by!

Hope you n your'n are doing just flippity flappity. Come on in for some ham hocks. Maybelle done cooked em up just right.

PTOOEY!

Jethro's out in the hen house. Been out there for a couple a days now.

Go tell ol Jethro to fetch me m'hatchet. Got a snake out in the garden, needs killin.

Yassir.

Day of the red sun is upon us, neighbor.

Best get on back to shelter.

Movies

Voyage of the Poopnauts
Fartmasters
Poopy McPoopins
Poopas: A Journey of Poopmasters
Up the Bumhole: A Retrospective
Friendship Masters: Masters of Friendship
Koyaanispoopsi: The Rape of Earth by Man and Poop
Buttblasters I - XIV
The Buttock
Puppetry Festival
Puppetry Festival II: The Bonds of Friendship
A La Recherche du Poop
Escape from Poopulon
Kosmos: The Pooped One
Butt Buddies
The Adventures of Sir Reginald Gruntley, and his Collection of Poop
Ugh, Gotta Let One: A Poopumentary
The Brown Moistness (available in 3D at selected IMAX theaters)
The Colours of Poop: A Diorama of Poetry and Song
Bride of Poopenstein
The Poopist
Butt Nuggets A Go Go
Masters of Poopistry
Hook, Line, and Sphincter
Poop Ninjas
A Midsummer Night's Poop
Dookie! - The Musical
They Came from Your Bumhole
Poopus Maximus
Poop Festival
The Littlest Poop

I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yoooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E YOUUUUUUUUJUJUJJJJJUUU
IIII CAN SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOOYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
IIIII SSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YYOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIUIUUUUUUU
Iiiii CAN SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. YOUUUUUUUUJJUUUUU,,,,!!!!!

I SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

tee hee!

IIIIIIIIIIIIII SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHANAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YYYUUUUUUOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Something to do

You know what I think would be a good comedy routine? You could take one of those chattering teeth toys up on the stage and then hold it up and go, "YOU WANT THE TOOTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TOOTH!!!" Ha ha! You get it? Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men. All American comedy.

Ha ha haaa!!

Hooooo boy!

Beware the Puppet Collective

I got an idea the other day for what I thought would be a really good movie. I was going to call it "Great Caesar's Toast!" And it would basically be Shakespeare's Julius Caesar except he would be munching on a piece of toast the whole time. And like when they were stabbing him it could show a close up of the piece of toast that he dropped on the floor, and then you here him say, "Et tu, Brute!" And then he goes, "AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!" and you see a drop of blood land on the toast. And then later when you see his ghost, he would be like, "you -um- -smack- -smack- will see me at Philippi -smack- -gulp." because he'd be eating a piece of toast, you see.

Then I got really scared because I suddenly realized that my idea was so profound and so earth shattering that I would surely drop dead at that moment so as not to disrupt the balance of the cosmos by sharing my idea with others.

But I didn't die. Instead I got another idea. This one was even more profound.

I must warn people.

About the pu... AAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Insults

If someone is picjking on you or whatever the best way to get back at them is to say that their whatever they are calling you. So like if someone said your a loser, you should say your the one who is a loser and then they would feel upset because you just told them off. No matter what they said you can just say it's them and you will never fail.

Or if you really hate them then when they call you something just say You mean your mom is. And then they would be really upset like so upset they want to kill somebody because you just said something really bad about there mom but only do this if you really hate them because of the implications. There is a high chance they might kill themselves when this happens because you just cut them down so bad. I am personally responsible for probably around 20 suicides from this particular tactic.

God rest ye merry gentlemen. And a very heartfelt goodnight to you and yours.

- Poopmaster

Observation 2012

There's this part of the city in between the other cities that nobody pays attention to, but I saw that it was there. It starts along the road with the ancient signs going through gardens and buildings that have stood for ages back before the days of the settlers and the Indians, and even the ones who came before them. Mazes of structures, bridges and canals, buildings of bricks and stones and people walking among them unaware even of their significance. The city that has stood for over a thousand centuries! Why would people go about their daily lives with no sense of wonder in such a place? I wanted to shout at them. What unknown secrets were hidden deep within its halls, and did anyone stop to question, or to care? What people once dwelled and worked in this place in the most ancient of days and where did they go? Were we those people? Or were we their replacements? Suddenly my eyes started to sting and I couldn't see. I had to pull over to the curb and I got out and then I wiped my eyes and I looked at my hands and saw that there was blood. I leaned over the railing and vomited onto the street below. And that too, was a concoction of blood amongst other substances, ingested in times and ways forgotten. If only for the moment. I got back into the car and decided this hadn't really happened. There was only the city, a testament to ancientness. And the forgotten history of man.