Well hello there! Thanks fer stoppin by n why don't ya sit down n eat one o' these here crickity crack cracker jacks. My wife made 'em from scratch.

How'r you folks doin? I'm doin alright m'self. Had to put ol' Daisy out of her misery yesterday evenin'. She was a hootin n hollerin n foamin at the mouth ever since that coon bit her on the ass. So I take'n the kaiser blade. Some folks call it a sling blade I call it a kaiser blade, n I hit her upside the head with it. N then I did it again. Killed 'er.