Wat is a fridn

A fridn is some1 who is ur bestesteststesest fridn n that u wil hav fridnships with n som1 who is nice 2 u no mattar wut n nevar meaned. fridns maek u 2 fell happey when u feeling D:. A fridn will nevar saey bad stuffs abt u that maek u cried n plus they wld only sa y good thinz abt u if they ur tru fridn. n they wil go out plaeces with u sometimez if they hav tiem but if their not allowd 2 go out then u cn tlk 2 them on teh fon sometime n they will alwaez stick by ur side no mattar wut happnz bcoz they r so ahppy 2 b ur frid n u r hapey 2 bcoz tru fridnship iz teh gr8es gift in th world n evn teh univers.
Fridns always shar there thingz n r not baded 2 1 anothr. if som1 iz talkin bad abt a fridn then u shld stand up 4 them alwayz. A fridn alwz show tru apreshiatoin 2 each othr bcoz thats iz wut a fridn do. They r gud 2 eachothr n not enemiz. if i had a frind i alwaez cherish them n nevar maek fun them coz tahts is mean n not nice. Somtiemz a frinds cn talk on teh computers if there mom lets them. when ther r talkin on the computor its funnest time coz they cn maek jokes n luk at funn picturs n when tehy r talkin everbody no that theyr bestesttesesetsetst fridsn n they cn fell jelos n stuff but its ok if they fell jelos. n if its on teh computr then any1 in teh wrld cn b ur fridn evn a chines persn. coz on computer its jst words n not liek u haf b 2gethr in the saem room. Thoes r teh bestst kind fridns bcoz they nevar maek fun u but alwyz b niec 2u n saey gud things.
i no that this is wat fridnship is. but i dont no wuts it fell liek 2hav a tru fridn bcoz i dont hav any fridns.

My Blog gets an "S" for "Sewper Kewl"!!!!

I got an email today from Trevor Schmidt of the Ministry of Blogs who said, "This Blog is the Sewper Kewliest thing I haff evar seen in my entire LIFE!!!" He then goes on to say, "When I am visiting other blogs they make me to have a sad face =( but when I visit your blog it turns that face upside down into a HAPPY FACE!!!! =) Congratulations on a job well done, Mr. Flapjak Sam!!! If I was the President of the United States I would give you a billion dollars for your terrific blog!!!!!!!1"

Thanks, Trevor, for your kind uplifting words of support. It makes everything I do fell important and worthwhile. I know I am just a small voice in the wilderness, but with hard work and perserverance I know that one day my blog will become the Number 1 Site on the Internets!!!!!!!!

Informationskontrolle

Hey friends, sorry for the hiatus. I've just been busy with work and other stuff. But I have been doing some interesting research on ancient times and have dug up some interesting information that you all will like to know.

In the ancient days, there were demons, servants of Satan, who walked the earth and conducted horrible experiments on people and animals in those days. That's why God flooded the Earth and saved only one family, which was the family of Noah. It's because all of the other people were indoctrinated and reengineered with wickedness by the dark servants of Lucifer. But in the Bible, and other ancient texts will reaffirm this, it says that these fallen angels reappeared after the flood, but their numbers were greatly reduced.

Many people believe that these entities still exist even today, though they are hidden from sight or disguised so that they might walk amongst us. I believe this is true, and I would like to say that I believe Harry Potter is one of these fallen angels, sent by Satan to deceive and manipulate the masses. You will know these detestable creatures by their fiendish deeds. It is clear that those who practice the foul arts of Black Magic are the servants of Satan. It is said that the antichrist will be one of these creatures, disguised, of course, but influential in the realm of political diplomacy.

After the great flood Noah and his families left the ark to repopulate the world. Noah's 3 sons were Shem, Cham, and Japheth. The Hebrews were descended from Shem. While there are disagreements of whom to attribute the rest of the world's populations, it is generally accepted that the European peoples descended from Japheth, and the African peoples descended from Cham. Arabs are a mixture of the Shemitic and Hamitic lines. Interestingly, this leaves out the Oriental peoples of the far East. In my research I've found some claiming them to be a Shemitic line, a few say they are Japhetic line, but the majority, and I would have to agree, view the Orientals as a Hamitic race. The reason I agree with this analysis is because it gives the most historical support. Cham fathered the Caananites, and a sub-tribe of the Caananites were the Sinites, who settled in the land of Sinim. Sinim is the ancient name of China, as in the adjective "Sino-". This is also in agreement to Chinese historical tradition, that the first Chinese came out of the West and established the 1st Chinese city of Sian, led by Master Sian-Fu. In the Bible this character is known as Sin. Sin and Sian sound very much alike, and are probably the same individual. Eventually all the Oriental races came to be descended from this line, known as the Sinites.

Secret Base

I totally forgot 2 tell u guys but here is my super secret base where I am hiding out and making schemes and stuff.

http://www.runboard.com/bthesupercoolslugclub

Since I can't post on IMDB right now that is where I am posting stuff at. I'm making plans on taking over IMDB through the use of computer wizardry, also known as bein a 1337 H@><><0r LoLz!1111

The story of the Puppetry Festival

Many years ago there was the puppetry festival, one summer when I was a boy. Grandma Josephine & Uncle Ted were there. Billy Boy and Fred were there two.
Everybody were there at the puppetry festival. Minister Bob and his wife Henrietta, Ebenezor and his magic hand, the Twirwilliger sisters, Flapjak McCreevy, Eddie Baker. Even ol' Jasper was there.
There were many various kinds of puppet shows that day. Ms. Miller's boy upchucked his carrots onto one of the performers during one of em, and we all laughed. Some of em were full of violence and blood. Bleebo, the retarded woodsman couldn't stay for those, else he'd start crying.
So many people were there at the puppetry festival. I thought I saw the local blacksmith, dressed in his robe of trickeries. Momma told me to keep away, and so I did. Michael of the square shaped dale was there, and so was Flibbins, his dog. I knew I spied Betty Mae dancing naked deep within the thicket behind the dark pavillion. I laughed and my best friend Edgar Witinger shushed me, lest she hear us and send curses our way.
The day was drunk with pleasure. Everyone was there at the puppetry festival. I remember I did a handstand, and the blind girl clapped. We tossed a log for sportsmanship, and ate beans and mushrooms as at a picnic in springtime. Miss Edwards caught me in a prank and shook her finger at me, and tempted though I was to give her the eye I remembered my manners.
Lost in the woods was the MacManus child, though we found him soon later. Inkeeper Smith said he had followed the smell of his fear. We walked a ways further though we didn't have to, I commenting nervously that soon we would be out of the clearing and into the fire. "Shush!" said Nervous Nellie, "We haven't gone far, and yet you carry on so," though I was foretold of unwholesome sights awaiting in the salted plain. It wasn't long before darkness arrived, and we headed back.
Crendulous, the Midget was at the puppetry festival. All of the children wanted to shake his hand. But my mom wouldn't let me. An enchantment were came as puppets thrown into the fire. The puppets burning. We encircled the fire and danced around it, singing in the voices of old. I was warned again to stay out of the thicket, though I had thought not to go. Voices came from outside the clearing. I was afraid, but not afraid. There were so many others there, I could not be frightened for long.
So many people there at the puppetry freshtival. Elmer Beedle's dad had a sno cone stand. It was sno cones of many flavours. I think I tried them all.
Some neighbor's kid got caught in a tree, and big Otto had to get him down. I didn't see it, cos I was away in the silent alcove, alone and afraid.
So many people at the puppetry festival. All was well, and soon we would go out into the world, as men of renown. But for the time, we would festivate puppets. So happy...
So happy at the puppetry festival.
I ate some jam. It was Martha Barthengate's prize winning recipe. And there were berries and horsemeat for dinner, which was shared among the villagers, and plenty for everyone.
So many people at the puppetry

Boy I tell u wut

I love me some country home cookin. Yesterdy I scraped up one o them there coon carcasses off'n the side of the road.. wrapped er up in tin foil n threw her in the smoke pit fer about n'hour.. Then chopped it all up n put it in the stew. Put some carrots n taters in there.. OOOOWEEEEEE that's sum good eatin! I bet you fancy New York City folks've never had a good ol fashioned coon stew dinner! I tell u wut. You boys don't know what your missin! You can keep your fancy shmancy croutons n oscar meyer wieners n kraft dinners. I'll take my roadkill stew over yer peppercorn hamster droppings any day of the week month or century! YASSSUH!! THANK GOD AHM A CUNTRY BOAHYYE!! YEEHAWWWWWW!

Little House on the Prairie: The journey of a lifetime begins

As of today, this blog will be taking a new direction. Did you notice the new title at the top of the page? Yes, that's right, we are no longer "Now Is The Time". This blog will henceforth be dedicated to Little House on the Prairie, and the characters, relationships, trials, tribulations, joys, and sorrows within.

That's right, I am about to watch the whole freakin series of Little House on the Prairie, including the Made for TV movies. Check out my Netflix queue, bitchez!

1. Kingdom Hospital: Disc 3 Thrillers Now
2. Kingdom Hospital: Disc 4 Thrillers Now
3. Pan's Labyrinth Foreign Now
4. World Trade Center Drama Now
5. I Love Maria Foreign Short wait
6. Step Brothers Comedy Now
7. Witch from Nepal Foreign Short wait
8. Encounter of the Spooky Kind Foreign Now
9. Master of the Flying Guillotine Foreign Now
10. The Benchwarmers Comedy Now
11. Full Moon: Vol. 3: I Want You to Hear It Anime & Animation Now
12. 8MM Thrillers Now
13. I Spit On Your Grave Horror Now
14. Down With Love Romance Now
15. Bye Bye Birdie Classics Now
16. Quarantine Horror Now
17. The Happening Sci-Fi & Fantasy Short wait
18. Leap of Faith Drama Now
19. Little House on the Prairie: The Pilot Television Now
20. Little House: Season 1: Disc 1 Television Now
21. Little House: Season 1: Disc 2 Television Now
22. Little House: Season 1: Disc 3 Television Now
23. Little House: Season 1: Disc 4 Television Now
24. Little House: Season 1: Disc 5 Television Now
25. Little House: Season 1: Disc 6 Television Now
26. My Blue Heaven Comedy Now
27. Dragnet Comedy Now
28. Little House: Season 2: Disc 1 Television Now
29. Little House: Season 2: Disc 2 Television Now
30. Little House: Season 2: Disc 3 Television Now
31. Little House: Season 2: Disc 4 Television Now
32. Little House: Season 2: Disc 5 Television Now
33. Little House: Season 2: Disc 6 Television Now
34. The Last Starfighter Sci-Fi & Fantasy Now
35. Little House: Season 3: Disc 1 Television Now
36. Little House: Season 3: Disc 2 Television Now
37. Little House: Season 3: Disc 3 Television Now
38. Little House: Season 3: Disc 4 Television Now
39. Little House: Season 3: Disc 5 Television Now
40. Little House: Season 3: Disc 6 Television Now
41. Saw IV Horror Now
42. Mary Poppins Children & Family Now
43. Saw V Horror Now
44. Little House: Season 4: Disc 1 Television Now
45. Little House: Season 4: Disc 2 Television Now
46. Little House: Season 4: Disc 3 Television Now
47. Little House: Season 4: Disc 4 Television Now
48. Little House: Season 4: Disc 5 Television Now
49. Little House: Season 4: Disc 6 Television Now
50. Babel Drama Now
51. Little House: Season 5: Disc 1 Television Now
52. Little House: Season 5: Disc 2 Television Now
53. Little House: Season 5: Disc 3 Television Now
54. Little House: Season 5: Disc 4 Television Now
55. Little House: Season 5: Disc 5 Television Now
56. Little House: Season 5: Disc 6 Television Now
57. Kentucky Fried Movie Comedy Now
58. Orphen II: Revenge: Vol. 5: Revenge Anime & Animation Now
59. Orphen II: Revenge: Vol. 6: Redemption Anime & Animation Now
60. Little House on the Prairie: Ssn 6: Disc 1 Television Now
61. Little House on the Prairie: Ssn 6: Disc 2 Television Now
62. Little House on the Prairie: Ssn 6: Disc 3 Television Now
63. Little House on the Prairie: Ssn 6: Disc 4 Television Now
64. Little House on the Prairie: Ssn 6: Disc 5 Television Now
65. Little House on the Prairie: Ssn 6: Disc 6 Television Now
66. Crash Drama Now
67. Little House/Prairie: Season 7: Disc 1 Television Now
68. Little House/Prairie: Season 7: Disc 2 Television Now
69. Little House/Prairie: Season 7: Disc 3 Television Now
70. Little House/Prairie: Season 7: Disc 4 Television Now
71. Little House/Prairie: Season 7: Disc 5 Television Now
72. Little House/Prairie: Season 7: Disc 6 Television Short wait
73. Little House..Prairie: Season 8: Disc 1 Television Now
74. Little House..Prairie: Season 8: Disc 2 Television Now
75. Little House..Prairie: Season 8: Disc 3 Television Now
76. Little House..Prairie: Season 8: Disc 4 Television Now
77. Little House..Prairie: Season 8: Disc 5 Television Now
78. Little House..Prairie: Season 8: Disc 6 Television Now
79. City of Lost Souls Foreign Now
80. LHOP: Season 9: Disc 1 Television Now
81. LHOP: Season 9: Disc 2 Television Now
82. LHOP: Season 9: Disc 3 Television Now
83. LHOP: Season 9: Disc 4 Television Now
84. LHOP: Season 9: Disc 5 Television Short wait
85. LHOP: Season 9: Disc 6 Television Now
86. Look Back to Yesterday Drama Now
87. Bless All the Dear Children Drama Now
88. The Last Farewell Drama Short wait
89. Little House: The Movies: Disc 4 Drama Now
90. Little House: The Movies: Disc 5 Drama Now
91. Little House: Journey in the Spring Television Now
92. Little House: No Place Like Home Television Now
93. Little House: As Long as We Are Together Television Now
94. Little House: I'll Be Waving as You Drive Television Now

Starting at #19, we have Little House on the Prairie: The Pilot, and from there we embark on a journey of self-discovery spanning 9 seasons and 9 made-for-TV-films that I hope you will share with me, as I relate my experiences and thoughts and feelings together with you.

Be sure to pack along plenty of tissues, friends, because trust me, we are not getting out of this together without plenty of tears, hugs, and reaffirmations of our friendship. =*D

Now before we get to this incredible journey, I am going to take a bitchin trip to NYC which will be totally killer, and I have to get those other 18 pesky films out of the way 1st. (Sorry, but I am a firm believer in not rearranging my Netflix queue unless it's absolutely necessary... It wouldn't be fair to the other films who've waited so long for their turn... And long have they waited, cos my queue is like 500 titles long.) But then we will get down to business, and I hope you will be patient in waiting for this truly amazing experience that you and I will share together!

The Gr8est Frendship in the Universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

I feel so sorry for you people, did you know that? And do you know why???? It's because you guys will never have a frindship like I have, which is the bestetstesetsstsetsst gr8es amazingest frindship in the whole universe1!!!1!!!!111111!!! Yes that's right, I'm talking about the gr8est fridn anyone could ever have and that fridn is ema1204!!!1111!!!!! Do you know how I know we are the bestsetsetstestsststsessteestssest fridns there evar was?? It's because the Poney godz hav blessed our fridnship. They don't do that for just anyone. Only those who are worthy, which none of you is worthy of this honor except for me n ema. Yes, that's right!

It was fate taht brought us 2gethr, for once we were bitter enemies. Did you know it? Yes, it's true! I was trolling the Hary Pooter board one day and pretending 2 be a fan of Hary Pooter so I was saying, "You guyz!!!! I am so in love with Ginny Wesley!! LOL!! I slit my wrists over Ginny at least 1nce a month!!11 Ginny is my pretend gf coz i hav nevar had a real gf in my life LoLzzzzzz!!!!!" And then I was like, "Ema will u b my internet gf???/???/???/" coz I thought he was a girl, and he was like, "Ewww! No!!!!" and I wuz like, "Ur means =*(" and then we strtd fighting a lot and then Ema joined the Slug Club which is these people who h8 me and want me 2 die, and I was like, "Ema!!!! PLEEEEEEASE DON'T HATE ME!!!!1!! PLEASE B MY BESTESTSTSESTSST FRIDN THATS ALL IM ASKING OF U!111!111" and then 1 day we decided 2 b fridns and we became BESTSETSESSTEST FRIDNS 4EVAR!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!!!

Now I know you are probably like, SO???????? Well I will tell you something, you narrow minded fool!!!! You are saying that because you are JELOUS of our frindship!!!! Don't even try and deny it, I have seen it all before. xHarleyQuinnx kicked me out of her Nazi club because she was jealous of our frendship. And plus people on IMDB are mean 2 me all the time b/c I know they hate me b/c they can never have a fridnchip as gr8 as mine no matter how hard they wish it. They will nevar have a frindship that could never be destroyed. Not by a typhoon, not be a hurricane, not by nuclear explosion, not by a black whole, not EVEN BY THE PONEY GODZ THEMSELVES!!!!!!1!!!!1!!111!!111!!! =O Yes, I said it. Did you think I wouldn't???? Then you truly do not understand the power of our friendship!!!!! Our friendship will overcome all things even the destruction of the univers itself, and even the destruction of the dimension which is even bigger than the universe!11!11 THAT is how powerful is the bond of our Frindship!!! HOW DO U LIEK DEM APPLEZ HUH???? YEAH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT!!!!!

Bestestststestseseetestsestsesetessststsesestestsetsststesest fridn in teh whol dimensian, if u r readin this, u r my bestesesstestetsteesstettseestsestssestts fridn evar n i kno that 2gethr we can destroy Hary Pootr and Asiafilz n everything evil and bad in this world, even Ponies if they try and stop us!!!!11!! Thankx u 4 ur amazin n fridnship which will nevar die!!!1111!!111!11

A messij 2 my besetsesstststtesstest fridn

hay bsesetstsstetesttststessteststsest frind i got ur pm but i cnt rspodn coz sum dushbaegz gots my acct supspndd but im gnna reverfy very soon k!

Harry Pooter sux and is GHEY!!1!!!1!!

I hate Harry Potter and so should you. Why, you ask? Well I can list dozens of reason why Harry Potter is a pile of dog crap, but you guys will just be like, "SO//?/? THATZ JST UR OPINYON DOOD I STILL THNK HARY POOTR RULEZ!!1!!!!!!!1" So I am going to set aside my personal opinion for now and make a logical rational argument. Atheists, and Satan-worshipping heathens, you may as well stop reading right here, because nothing that follows is going to change your mind, seeing as how you hate God and wouldn't care, even though He saw fit to give you life. And well, just because your life sucks don't blame it on HIM, because that's your own fault for being a loser. (Ugh... I'm starting to sound like sevensFAG. OH CRAP! I just put something in parentheses.. MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN PLEASE HELP ME I'M TURNING INTO SEVENSFAG!!!!)

Ok. Whew! I'm better now. Ok. Where was I.. Oh yeah. Satan worshippers, don't waste your time reading any further. Go back to worshipping rocks and sacrificing puppies or whatever it is you sick douchebags do in your free time. But the rest of you, I want to talk to you about something. Now I know you like to think of yourself as a modern and intelligent person, and you've probably already FLIPPANTLY dismissed the idea of Harry Potter being tied to witchcraft and devil worship, and I say good for you! Don't let those backward fundamentalists try to tell you what's what! I mean.. just LOOK at those people - those fundamentalists, I mean. They are just so GAUCHE, aren't they? Haha! It's like... HELLO, fundamentalists! Welcome to FREAKIN 1692, ROFLMFAOLOLLERCOPTRSKAETS!111!!!!!! I mean... those fundies probably think that computers work by little magic demons living inside them and powering them up with their evil black magik!!11 LOL!!1! They probably think the internet works by little pixies flying back and forth to computers all over the world with evil magic messages that people type through their Satanic keyboards, right??? ROFL!1!1! Well that's all nice and amusing, and we certainly had a good chuckle there didn't we?

The only problem is, THE FUNDIES ARE RIGHT.

Ok, so we never see Harry Potter sacrificing virgins to Satan and drinking the blood of his foes, or at least I don't think we do. I wouldn't know because I wouldn't stoop so low as to read that subpar, poorly written, overhyped CRAP. But don't fool yourselves, Christians. Ms JK Rowling, your beloved worshipful bestest, wonderfulest author of the 21st century and beyond does indeed hate God. In an interview last year, Ms. Rawling mocked Christians who refused to read her books on moral grounds. She said in so many words, that Christians who don't read her books are dangerous fundamentalists who are no different from Islamic terrorists. Now what I would like to know, Ms. Rowling, is, who the hell are you to call ANYONE dangerous and backwards because they don't want to read your WORTHLESS CRAP???? You disagree with these people, that's fine, but it is their GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO CHOOSE WHAT THEY WANT TO READ AND WHAT THEY WANT THEIR CHILDREN TO READ AND YOU HAVE NO PLACE EQUATING THESE PEOPLE WITH TERRORISTS WHO HAVE KILLED THOUSANDS IN THE NAME OF THEIR RELIGION. Good Lord, what an arrogant monkey's piss of a woman! Yeah, Ms. Rawling, who cares if people read the Bible anymore, just as long as every man, woman, and child alive is reading your stupid Harry Potter tripe and bowing down to your stinking fungus-infested feet! Anyway, if you don't believe me that she said these things, you can check out the source for yourself here. Read it and bathe in the fullness of Empress Rowling's pig-headed arrogant glory.

So Christians, make up your own mind whether Rowling's books are satanic or immoral or whatever. But please remember how she mocked and disdained your fellow Christians who chose not to follow in lock-step with the rest of the sheeple. You may disagree with them, but as Christians WE ARE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN SOLIDARITY. When someone attacks one Christian, they attack all Christians. Just remember the next time you pick up your Harry Potter book or insert your exalted Harry Potter satan-disc into your DVD player, JK Rowling has DECLARED WAR ON YOUR FAITH.

What happen?

Well it looks like SyvFagget, who changed his name to SevensBAD cos he's a wuss, and I-Am-Lezbifer, and Titz, who changed his name to LittleZeke because he's also a wuss, managed to tattle enough to the IMDB help desk to get my account suspended again. I have to congratulate them on a job well done. Good job, guys! But don't think you have gotten rid of me. I am up for the challenge! I will be back, and you will soon feel the power of my fiery wrath!!!! ^_^
In the meantime, here is some more info that I think everyone will enjoy. Titz updated his profile and it turns out he's a geriatric old fart who has to change his adult diapers and his colostomy bag every hour. You know when you're at the store and you see some ugly old pedo in his 60's walking around with an Asian girl in her late teens/early 20s? Well, you may very well be looking at Titz.
Here's something even funnier. Did you know that Titz, SevensFAG, and I-Am-Lezbifer formed an alliance against me!!!! ROFLMFAO!!!! Yes, SevenFAG let me know that he and Titz had gotten together and formed an action plan to get rid of me. LOL! I can imagine them PMing back and forth with their gay ass little strategies. I can just see Titz going, "WHENEVER FUNKRYANT SEZ SUMTHING MEAN, GO TELL THE HELPDESK!" and SevensFAG pooping his pants with delight as he immediately goes to tattle on me. What a bunch of crybaby D&D dorks they are! Afraid to go head to head with me in a real debate!
In fact, SevensFAG went to tattle on me right after I totally made a fool out of him. He writes like a junior high dork who has read too many Stephen King books and plays WoW all day long. He was on this thread trying to make fun of some other dude and he was like, "Umm.. ummm... just because you don't know how to have fun in life, don't make fun of those who DO!!!!!! (which by the way, you cretin, I know you are a loser because you are OBVIOUSLY trying to make yourself look good..... GASP... are you trying to IMPRESS lil' ol' me?????)" I'm serious people, that is the way he writes! It's like he's sitting there with a thesauras and he's all worked up in a sweat, trying so hard to make THE MOST BITING INSULT KNOWN TO MAN!!!!! He's sitting there going, "I'LL SHOW THIS GUY!!! I'M GONNA HURT HIM SO BAD HE'LL COMMIT SUICIDE!!!!" But the thing is, he totally sucks at it! ROFL!!!!!!! So I got on the thread making fun of him and I was like, here SevansFAG, I'll write your response for you, and then I'd write some really dorky huffy and puffy, overly worded response back to myself, and SevensFAG was so pissed off I had him crying and everything! And that's when he told me of his faggy little dork conference with Titz, and he probably went and tattled on me right after that.

A messij 2 my IMBD fridns

Hi fridns! ^_^

Well hello there! Thanks fer stoppin by n why don't ya sit down n eat one o' these here crickity crack cracker jacks. My wife made 'em from scratch.

How'r you folks doin? I'm doin alright m'self. Had to put ol' Daisy out of her misery yesterday evenin'. She was a hootin n hollerin n foamin at the mouth ever since that coon bit her on the ass. So I take'n the kaiser blade. Some folks call it a sling blade I call it a kaiser blade, n I hit her upside the head with it. N then I did it again. Killed 'er.

Time to get serious

We like to have fun here and joke around on "Now Is The Time" but there are occasions when I do have to get serious, and now is one of those times. So I am dead serious right now ok? Serious as a dead hobo on a snowy winter's morning.

I would like to talk about some douchebags on IMDB and why they are douchebags, and what I intend to do about them.

1. Tedz8 (nickname: Titz)


This snivelling whiny little pissant is a gross slimy asiaphile whose posting history consists entirely of him drooling over various asian actresses on their message boards. This dumbass is so ugly and pathetic he has to resort to an overseas relationship to get any female to have anything to do with him, which I'm sure when and if this dumb bitch actually meets him in person if his looks don't kill her right then and there his smell surely will. Tedz is one of those douchebags who tries to come off all nice and nonconfrontational, which only makes him look like an even bigger pussy. Then if someone actually confronts him instead of standing up for himself he runs off and whines to the IMDB help desk about it. He got all my posts on the Ziyi Zhang board erased and then wrote this brown nosing post thanking IMDB for "clearing the air and putting an end to the current hostile environment", which I immediately reported and got deleted.

My course of action - continue calling him a douchebag who still sucks his mother's tit and report his posts.

2. Liu-Kang (nickname: Fagglio)


Liu-Kang is the screen name of Matt Gagglio, a virgin in his late 20's who, like Titz, is a disgusting asiaphile. He likes to go around stalking Asian female posters and brags about all the Asian women he's been with, even though he admitted about a month ago he has never had sex in his life (he counts anything beyond kissing as sex by the way). He also happens to live in NYC which is crawling with Asian women, which makes him even more pathetic for not being able to get one to come within 10 feet of him. I have offered to meet up somewhere for a fight several times, and chickenshit Liu-Kang refuses to meet, being the douchebag coward he is. Whenever I insult him on the message boards he tries to insult me back with ridiculously lame crap. The title of one of his "insult" posts was "Funkyant brings down plane with his farts".

My course of action - Try to get this asshole to meet me when I go up to NYC this summer, then beat the shit out of him. Continue insulting his lame ass and reminding everyone that he is a virgin. Report any post he makes regarding Asian women.

3. SyvDager, a.k.a. Isle-of-Kyle


This douchebag is a sad lonely little boy who has no life outside of IMDB. He claims the same thing about me because I post there a lot, but I post there a lot because I'm at work and it helps pass the time. I'm rarely on the computer when I'm not at work. So what's his excuse? SyvDager started badmouthing me a month or two ago because I hate asiaphiles. And I was like, lol who is this stupid little twerp and why is he badmouthing me? He must've gotten butt hurt over something I said. So I noticed he and this other poster were using one of the boards as their own private little chat room, so I decided to go on there and start posting stuff, and he went BALLISTIC and started trying to badmouth me in all his posts and started reporting everything I posted. Hahaha what a freakin loser!!! This dumbass has an obsession with I-Am-Lucifer and gets really jealous when anyone else talks to her. He's also one of those dorks who tries to be all poetic and romantic, but all it does is make him look like a total pussy.

My course of action - Report all his posts and continue posting on boards he posts on a lot, because it drives him insane.

4. I-Am-Lucifer


This dumb bitch is a Satan-worshipper and is also Syvdager's obsession. She's the one who he got his panties in a wad over when I talked to her a few times. What's even more pathetic about his obsession is this bitch lives halfway around the world in New Zealand, so it's like, what's the matter Syvdager, are you so ugly you can't get with any girls over here??? Anyway, I-Am-Lucifer is a boring annoying bitch who has hairy armpits and breaks mirrors whenever she looks at them, and that's coming from her, not me. Anyway, I wouldn't bother to include her here except that like I said, she is annoying, and she is Syvdager's best friend, and she is also helping him to report my posts, because she's a dumb bitch who can't think for herself.

My course of action - Report all her posts.

So anyway, I just wanted to bring up these posters because they are assholes with no lives, and it is because of these 4 douchebags that my "ze_funkyant" account got terminated on IMDB. I set up a new account. I'm calling it "funkyrant" for now. And if any of you douchebags are reading this, go ahead and report my new account if you want. I still have my sock accts for reporting you pieces of dog kaka, and no matter how many times you get my account terminated I will create a new account to replace it. I have loads of ways to authenticate - credit card accounts, my cell phone, my gf's credit cards and cell phones, parent's credit cards, friend's credit cards... So go right ahead, assholes. You will not get rid of me.

Picture Time! Or as they say in France, "Le Picture Time!"

Ok I promised some pictures and so here they are. Enjoy!

Here is the south park me, except I am thinner than that n plus i'm an adult not a kid.


Here's a picture of a retarded smiley.


Here's Ronald Reagan, the greatest American president.


And here's Obama hypnotizing you to do his evil bidding.

American postes

Well I sed I wuz gonna add picures 2 this here blog. And as you can well see there are no pics 2 be found! ^_^ But fret not mein lieblings, there will soon b many a pic 4 u to behold and admire.

A lot of peple askded me, y r u typeing liek a retarted teenager now? And I haff teh anser 2 ur questiun. Teh resin y iz bcoz I hate being literit. Its so pompos sounding doent u think??? ^_^

teh thing iz, if u take thingz 2 srsly and try 2 b all bad n shit then u come off luking liek an ass whole. Doent u agree?

How are u 2day lol?

I hope ur doing grate!